LEARNING BY TRUST
“19 people are looking at this hotel room RIGHT NOW!”
Why does that kind of nudge provoke a tiny (slightly childish!) spike of irritation in me, while other nudges feel genuinely helpful?
When a colleague I trust sends, “coffee chat, let’s debrief that workshop,” it doesn’t feel like a push. It feels supportive and that changes what I do next.
Same behavioural principle – a gentle prompt, but emotionally? Miles apart.
When I read the message on the booking site, the nudge feels like it serves them.
When I’m nudged by someone I trust, it feels like it serves me.
…and it can serve you as a learner.
Do you have to trust people to use what you learn?
At first glance, the answer seems obvious, no.
You can learn from someone you don’t know. Information transfer doesn’t require trust.
But application does.
That’s where learning can be a struggle.
Rachel Botsman (Oxford scholar and author of “Who Can You Trust?") calls trust “a confident relationship with the unknown.”
In terms of learning – applying something new at work is the unknown. That’s the reputational risk, the moment you wonder whether your manager or your peers are silently changing their view of you.
So, the risk is that people attend training, leaving with valuable insight and ways to apply it in the flow of work…and then file the learning away under “Interesting, but not safe to try here.”
It’s not because the experience or content is poor.
It’s because the personal risk is high and the support structure is unknown.
A tale of two teams
Imagine two teams who leave the same leadership programme — same facilitator — same content — same applicable takeaways. Grounded in their reality.
Team A returned to their desks and carried on as if nothing happened.
Team B had a different experience.
Their manager, Fran, booked a 30 minute follow up and simply asked:
• What do you want to try?
• What might get in the way?
• How can we help each other?
Then Fran went first. Fran shared their own practice goal and asked the team to feedback when they slipped back and three months later, Team B had embedded new behaviours.
Team A could barely remember the session…. same content — different trust.
Fran created learning trust, the belief that you can experiment, fail, and talk honestly about what went wrong without judgment.
The work we’re avoiding
Organisations risk trying to scale learning without scaling trust. Learning isn’t a consumption problem. It’s a risk taking problem because trying something new requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability requires safety.
Safety requires trusting people.
What changes tomorrow?
No grand idea, just practical shifts.
If you design or deliver behavioural training…
Say the quiet part out loud and upfront.
“When you try this, it might feel a bit messy at first, and that is the learning.”
Make space for people to report back on what didn’t work.
If you’re asking someone to attend training…
Block 20 minutes afterwards.
Ask what they want to try and what support they need.
If you’ve just been to training
Pick one thing.
Tell one trusted person.
Check in.
Share the messy bits.
That's why nudges from those you trust are so valuable after training. They don't create artificial urgency, instead, they signal that practising what you've learned is safe, expected, and supported.
The nudge isn't rushing you, it's inviting you to try.
If you want to find out more about how you can build trust and elevate learner experiences – take action and join a growing community of passionate L&D professionals at our employer led, award-winning, Talent Forum.